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But I also wanted others to see the strong, capable person I really was.Now I've lost those 100 pounds and kept them off for over a year.
Every time I lost and regained I felt like more of a failure.
My struggle with weight has been compounded by a society that sees the obese as something akin to lepers.
Although my first instinct was to get upset about his mistake, I really couldn't.
After all, now I, too, have a habit of judging others: I silently criticize the woman at the gym who rests too long between sets, and I scrutinize the grocery carts of fellow shoppers to see if they're buying a lot of cookies, chips or soda.
Never mind that I was looking for something for a friend.
I hadn't even asked for help; she just saw me and decided I had no business shopping there.But whatever the underlying issue, these three women learned to deal with the underlying reasons they gained the weight so they could undertake the difficult journey of losing it. In My Shoes Blogger Cammy Chapel (Tippy Toe Diet.com), 52, Memphis, TN "We don't have anything that will fit you here.Your sizes are somewhere else." It's been 20 years and those words—spoken loudly and rudely by a clerk in a high-end department store—still sting.Some people cope with the loss of a child by turning to alcohol or drugs. When Joshua died, I was 40 or 50 pounds overweight.In the 20 years since, I have "comforted" myself to nearly 400 pounds. I've been on countless diets, at times subsisting on little but grapefruit or cabbage. I've taken laxatives and have tried starving and purging."Sorry to spoil your party," I told him, "but that wasn't me." I'll spare you all the back-and-forth that followed.I finally figured out that he'd seen me turning into my gym, which happens to share a parking lot with Taco Bell.The day I realized that I wanted to live and discard the shroud that I had used as protection against the pain of losing my son came a few months ago, when I broke a toilet seat because I was so obese.For the first time in years I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a person—not just a huge mound of flesh, but a real woman who was so guilt-ridden about not being able to save her son that she didn't think she was worthy of making the changes necessary to save herself.Without knowing anything about these people, I apply my newfound standards to their actions and find them lacking.I don't know why I do it, though it does seem like playing judge has become a national pastime (just look at the popularity of reality TV featuring panels of judges deciding who goes or stays). Whenever I catch myself jumping to conclusions based on what I think rather than what I know, I'm ashamed.