Because they are ugly and smell bad.” I don’t think my mother or sister really ever thought that was funny, because they don’t have the best senses of humor sometimes.
He would usually say that when he and I were sitting in the car waiting for Mom and Brooke so we could go somewhere that we usually didn’t want to go anyway.
My sister has two make-up bags on wheels filled with stuff to make her beautiful, and please don’t tell her, but it isn’t working all that well.
My dad used to always say, “You know why women spend all that time and money on their make-up and perfume?
If all of the women disappeared off the earth today, the global economy would collapse tomorrow. Every year at tax time, my mom and dad used to get out their expanding file folder and sort the checks.
My dad would have a small stack of checks, and my mother would have a huge pile.She said it was because she wrote all the checks to keep the household running, but I think it was because she spent all our money.Dad would write checks for good things like oil and brake pads and ammunition, but Mom spent most of our money on boring things like food and clothes and propane.Then he found himself in a college composition class, and suddenly the writing gene sort of kicked in.I am very glad that somewhere floating around in his gene pool he found some creativity and sarcasm which surfaced in his comparison/ contrast essay called “Men Vs.They will pick a channel with some “cry me a river” show on it and just leave it there until it’s over.That is a very boring way to watch t.v., and the shows are too depressing. The remote control and the guide on the screen were invented by some man genius so you could watch t.v. Women do not seem to be very good at multi-tasking like that.As mothers of kindergarteners and mothers of college students are mourning the transition of their children from the nest to school, I started looking back through the archives for columns about both of those topics, but I got distracted by this essay I found that Bret had written for a college composition class.With his wedding approaching, I found it especially noteworthy.Women do not realize how irritating they are when they are concerned about doing housework or laundry while men are trying to enjoy their one day off.The remote control is also something that women don’t understand.